January 7th marked a year since I knew something was wrong with my unborn baby and January 9th marked a year since we knew in much greater detail what was going on and that the outcome would likely be devastating.
The 7th was also the day my nephew was born, and the 9th was the day of the memorial service for an 84 year old man from church. I could look at the timing of these two events as God not caring about my pain/sensitivity, or I can look at them as they are: God's unique grace to me by giving me something else to focus on. This past week I was able to serve my sister by watching some of her older kids during the labor and delivery of her baby boy, and this weekend I was able to serve by playing keyboard during the memorial service and preparing and serving food for the family afterwards. I was able to do the same thing for another funeral in February, shortly after losing Asa, and I will never forget the son of the man who died coming to thank me and offer his sympathy for my loss as well. It was such a blessing to me when there was a meal provided after Asa's memorial service, although strange to be on the receiving end. We tend to think that when we serve others they are the ones who get the blessing, but in my experience I receive just as much! I was so blessed recently to go caroling to some people I had not seen in months and to deliver food to someone who cannot get out. I am not sharing these acts of service to say I'm such a great example and you should copy me but to remind us that Jesus gave us an example of service (especially when He did the lowly job of washing the disciples' feet) and we should copy Him! He told the disciples, "But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many."(Matthew 20:26b-28)
Maybe you "don't cook" or you're "not musical" or you're "not good with kids". What are you good at? Or a better question, what can you do? Can you buy groceries and have them delivered to someone or drive them yourself? Can you send a card or letter? Can you buy flowers for someone? Can you send a gift card or order takeout to a favorite restaurant? These things don't require a special gifting or talent! But everyone does have a unique gift (or gifts). Maybe it's decorating, or organizing, or cleaning, or encouraging others, or teaching, or making people laugh, or making people feel welcome and loved. There are so many gifts and that's why the body of Christ is so beautiful when we're doing what we're created to do. "As each of you has received a gift, use it to serve one another as good stewards of God's varied grace" (1 Peter 4:10). Notice it says varied grace. God gives differently to each person and we should not envy the gifts someone else has but instead ask God to reveal ours and help us use them. So I challenge you this year to identify the areas you're gifted in and then give those back to God by glorifying Him and blessing others. You will not regret it!
As all the anniversaries of tests and procedures with Asa come and go it can be tempting to wallow in self pity, but the fact that I haven't really had time this past week has been a blessing in disguise. God has given me the grace to focus on others' needs instead of my own. This is God's strength being perfected in my weakness, this is Him bringing beauty out of the ashes and light into the darkness. Does this mean I don't ever feel depressed, hurt, or envious? Absolutely not! But God is miraculously making those moments less and less common (I can tell a lot of people are praying for me), and I am so excited to see how He continues His work in me as I take steps of obedience. Since it's only January I am filled with anticipation for what God can do in and through me this year. If I've learned anything from having Asa it's that I cannot put my hope in anything but Jesus. He is the only constant in my life who never lets me down. I am determined this year to not dwell on all the darkness around me but instead "let my light shine". So who's with me? Let's shine so brightly that many will see and be drawn to Jesus, the only source of true light and life.
