Oceans

So I know the song Oceans by hillsong united is not new, but I was reminded of how much it moves me on Sunday night when my sister and a friend of hers sang it during a worship night. It's one of those songs that, for me as a dancer, makes it hard to just listen. It inspires me to dance with all my heart (which I did in my kitchen today by the way). It also brings me to tears because of how powerful the words are, especially this section "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters, wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger, in the presence of my Savior." To sing those words and be sincere is not an easy task. I heard of an article my sister read that actually said "stop singing oceans" for this exact reason. But what I would like to communicate today is that the kind of trust the song is talking about may look different than we think.
I could be wrong, but I believe God puts us in certain places/phases of life at certain times for a reason. He wants us to grow closer to Him and change so that we look more like Jesus. That may or may not be giving away your belongings to the poor, or moving away to a remote village where people have never heard of the Savior. It may be sharing Jesus with your neighbor or coworker, it may be tithing for the first time when you are struggling financially. But for me right now I believe God wants me to learn to love my husband and son unconditionally. It's taken me a while to realize it, but maybe what it means for me to "trust without borders" right now is to believe God enough to obey Him when it comes to honoring my husband and caring for my son. Even when I think my husband is in the wrong I should trust God enough that He will change my husband's heart if need be, and all I need to worry about is where my heart is. I have heard it said that we should jump into water that is over our head so we will have to depend on God. Just like how the song says "Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander". For me right now, to be in "over my head" means being patient with my son when I don't understand why he's screaming. Or showing him I still love him when he won't listen, even though I feel like he should just trust me enough to obey. Sound familiar? Today I had a light bulb moment when I was frustrated with my son for not obeying me, because I feel like that means he doesn't love and trust me. Can you imagine how it must grieve God when His children don't trust Him enough to just obey and do what they know is best for them? Just like my son who sometimes screams and fights before he finally gives in to sleep (which is a wonderful thing!), we often do the same when God is simply trying to give us what is best for us. He is GOD after all; do we believe He knows best or don't we?

Isaiah 55:8-9 (ESV)  
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
    neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. 
 For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
    so are my ways higher than your ways
    and my thoughts than your thoughts.

I hope to grow in the area of trust, and I hope that whoever reads this will be encouraged to do the same. Maybe in the future I will be selling my belongings and moving away, but for now I will keep singing and dancing to Oceans because no matter where I am I can always go deeper in my faith and be more obedient to do the simple-yet hard-things God calls me to do. And I know my Savior will always be there to pull me up again, and again.