There is a beauty in the pain. The pain of a woman crying
out as she labors to deliver her dead child…the pain of knowing a dream of
another baby has died for the moment. The pain of waiting for things to go back
to “normal” when that is not what you want and you know things will never be
the same again. A pain like no other…It is intense physically, mentally, and
emotionally. There is nothing that compares to this specific pain…
But, somehow it is tragically beautiful. The blood and tears
and cries for mercy create a stark contrast with the laughter shared between a
man and wife who have just gone through the worst experience of their life
together and don’t know how to handle it. They don’t know what to do but they
continue to laugh, and cry, and hold each other. They cry out to God to give
understanding, or at least acceptance. They hope for another chance to bring a
new life into the world but at the same time they fear going through this
again.
The love they share has only grown through this as they see
each other’s pain and try to comfort one another. They know they will never
forget this but they trust the road will get easier and the pain will become
less intense. They will look up and think of the child they will meet someday.
They will look up and think of the One who gave His only child for them. They
will rejoice, because God is with them.
Thank you for visiting my blog post about Cory Asbury's Reckless Love. I'm so sorry for your loss of a child (I suffered a miscarriage prior to the birth of my sons and the anguish was deep despite my faith in God's timing and provision, not to mention the disparity between my husband's and my own grieving processes). Prayers for you and your family as you grieve and let go of those dreams. May God hold you and bless you.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. I'm still struggling six months later coming up on the due date next week. But we are trying to just enjoy the two boys we have and trust that God's plans are better than ours.
DeleteI remember being reduced to a puddle of tears in my car after standing in line behind what seemed to me like a far-too-young couple and their infant blessing. So hard to accept when God withholds what we know to be a right and good thing. Your final words about trusting God's plans as better than ours, brought to mind a very helpful book (although I will admit, I read it far further out from my loss than six months) by Paula Rinehart called Better Than My Dreams. In it, she talks about mourning the what-could-have-beens (something I do often) when nothing that happens to us has somehow slipped under God's radar when He wasn't looking. Sounds like you have the right idea in focusing on what is as opposed to what might-have-been. I will add your name to this week's prayer list (especially in light of the reminder of the due date).
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for the prayers. I'll have to check out that book.
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